Pretty much everyone in my life can probably recall telling me at some point or another that I need to slow down, I'm doing too much, or that I'm missing out on the small things. I love the fast paced excitement in my life, everchanging moments. Perhaps I do miss things at times but I think for the most part, I pick up on the most subtle of lifes offerings. After a tough year last year, I have had the most of uplifting start to the new year.
I was at work the other day and I was teaching an autistic man how to clean washrooms. He was very upset with me and insisted that he already knew what he was doing. I was not convinced when I saw him washing the sink with a toilet brush! As I tried to show him what to do he got more and more frustrated and I started to feel frustrated too. I really felt incompetent - everything I tried only seemed to make things worse not better. For people who are not familiar with autism, a major trait of it has to do with sensory information. Autistic people react differently to stimulation. For example, the man I was working with could not look at me and rarely spoke to me because the anxiety is just too intense. He can't work in noisy areas without feeling extremely threatened. For some people even the feel of certain fabrics is more than they can handle. The job we had on this day was at a quiet office where the owner had brought in his 10 week old puppy for a visit. While the individual I was working with was screaming away the puppy ran up to him. I was at first worried both for my client and for the puppy. Was my client afraid of animals? Would he hurt an animal when he was in this emotional state? What I saw was truly amazing. The individual immediately collapsed to the floor, picked up the puppy and started hugging it and rubbing the puppy over his face, classic example of sensory stimulation. I tried to speak with the individual but he was so engrossed in this new relationship that he didn't even know I was in the room. I have never seen him open up so much. He just sat and played and cuddled with the dog. I think I learned that day that sometimes we just need to step out of the situation, let life take its course, and enjoy the small moments. Here was this person who could not look into any human beings eyes, and yet the puppy could open him up with a single glance. Perhaps they shared the inability to tolerate loud noises, busy places, and communication, or perhaps it is something different entirely. I may never know and that's okay.
If you want to learn more read the book "Songs of a Gorilla Nation" - This book is awesome - it is written by an Autistic woman who struggled to understand the world and found her answers in a family of gorillas.
On the same day, I got a phone call from an old friend that I had met when I was 14 and he was 16. At that time we only occasionally saw each other and then kept in contact by phone and email. At the time I met him he was in a foster family and was struggling with several problems including the normal teenage angst. At that time, I knew he was an amazing person. He was a symbol of strength. When he moved to Edmonton we no longer saw each other, and slowly our phone calls and emails started to diminish. For the first time in at least two years...we talked. At first I had no idea who it was - even when he dropped little hints. Once I had guessed right, we had an amazing conversation. It seems that the conversations we had had so long ago had had a profound impact on him. I have never been hit with so much flattery in one hour. It renewed my faith in my ability to help others. And yet this phone call was bittersweet. This man who has grown up into a beautiful person who has a child and is engaged to his sweetheart, is leaving to go to Afghanistan next month. This phonecall has had a chilling turn from a lighthearted "where have you been?" to a call filled with emotion that we may not talk again, that we may not get to express how we feel about each other if we don't do it right now. We fight the urge to talk about the what if's as I promise to write letters while he is away and make plans to have coffee when he comes back. I hung up the phone feeling delighted that he called, and so moved that I had been able to be there for him so many years ago, and so sad that such a great man is putting himself in danger for something that I am so against - he argues that he is doing this so I can continue to be the out-spoken, confident, and controversial debater that I am. I want to continue arguing but I know I will never change his mind - we have grown up in very different worlds and we were lucky enough to have had them collide on these rare occasions. Most of all, this conversation didn't know how to end - was there any good way to end it - did I say too much? did I not say enough? Did I say everything I wanted to say in the event of the unimaginable? I try not to entertain these thoughts.
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